Raising A Special Child

In the name of the Lord Jesus I testify:

I had heard this verse often since I was young, but it was not until I became a mother that I really understood its teachings. In 2005, I gave birth to a son, and it has been 17 years since. Reflecting on the early days of parenting, it was truly difficult beyond words. But thank God through my role as a mother, the Lord revealed my weaknesses and I learnt humility and obedience, and deeply experienced the love and grace of God.

From the moment I knew I was pregnant, our family looked forward to welcoming the little one into our lives. However, due to the signs of a possible miscarriage early on in the pregnancy, we were extremely careful in everything. Thank God, with my mother taking care of me, the situation gradually stabilized, and our little boy was born without complication, bringing much joy to our home.

Since the pregnancy, I had planned to apply the parenting principles I learned during my studies to nurture and shape my child. "A man's heart plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps." (Proverbs 16:9). In the first year, my son was rarely fussy, making it relatively easy to care for him. Although it was a busy time, I was grateful for having a well-behaved child. However, as my son grew older, I noticed differences in his speech patterns and interactions compared to other children. He had behaviours resembling symptoms of autism so I started to take more note of his development. After discussing it with my husband, we decided to have him evaluated. We had to wait a week for the results and during that time, I was extremely anxious. The doctor confirmed that he had Autism Spectrum Disorder. I thought I was mentally prepared, but at that moment, tears flowed unexpectedly and I felt lost and unsure about the path ahead. I dared not share the news with my family because I didn’t want to worry them.

Upon learning about my son's condition, I felt lost and my husband and I looked everywhere for ways to help him. Later, with a social worker's referral, we signed up for government support services (early intervention training). However, the social worker warned us that most people wait over a year before receiving the services. To avoid missing the prime time for training, we took our son to various private institutions while waiting for government support, hoping he could catch up with his peers in social and cognitive development. Fortunately, less than a year later, we received notice that government support was available. Our son began attending training sessions twice a week at an early intervention center near our home. For about two years, he attended mainstream kindergarten in the mornings, had two days of training at the early intervention center in the afternoons, and sometimes underwent sensory training in Mong Kok.

Upon reaching kindergarten, I noticed my son had difficulty reading, and the staff at the early intervention center arranged additional training and exercises to help. His early childhood was spent adhering to a busy training schedule and the intensity of it was heartbreaking. As he progressed to primary school, the workload increased, accentuating his reading and writing difficulties. The amount of homework was not excessive, but even if he came home from school and started to do his homework immediately after a snack, it would still take him hours and he would not finish until after 9pm. I had to sit and assist him throughout and the pressure became overwhelming. Every day we struggled to finish the homework, nevermind revising. Sundays were often spent indoors studying to cope with writing, exams, and assessments. Towards the end of primary one, his progress continued to lag, prompting the school to arrange another assessment with an educational psychologist. The results confirmed not only dyslexia but also learning disabilities. As I had been monitoring his homework, I was not surprised by the diagnosis. In the second year of primary school, although the school customized homework and exams for him, it wasn’t really helping. Gradually, I started to dread my son returning from school, and would feel anxious as the time drew near and kept thinking how long would we have to battle for that evening. Later on, I started to exhibit symptoms of depression and I realized that it was getting impossible for me to bear.

I often hear brothers and sisters sharing testimonies saying, "The end for us is the beginning for God." This is exactly my experience. When my son reached primary three, I considered transferring him to a non-mainstream school. Unfortunately, the school was full and not accepting transfer students. When he graduated from the fourth grade, I saw on Facebook that the same school was offering a week-long summer program and I decided to enroll him. During this week, my son enjoyed the school's specially designed courses and activities so much that he did not mind the daily commute. When the course ended, I didn’t think the school would be taking transfer students but decided there would be no harm in asking. The school had two spots available! After an interview and two trial classes, thank the Lord my son successfully enrolled.

After the transfer, our family's lifestyle underwent significant changes. Firstly, my son had less homework, allowing us more time together to interact. As a result, we began reading the Bible at home together. Because there was no rush for homework, we could attend evening services to draw closer to God and learn how to please Him. Thanks to God's wonderful arrangement, my introverted son became more outgoing and cheerful, willingly interacting with others. What surprised me even more was the improvement in his reading. His fluency became increasingly apparent the more we read the Bible.

Although my son still faces many academic challenges, I believe that the grace of the Lord is sufficient. Looking back, God's arrangement indeed has His will. If my son did not have learning difficulties, I might have drifted and gotten lost, prioritizing his studies over his faith. I used to think of myself as a loving and patient person, but I am grateful to God for training me in this way and showing me my shortcomings and self-righteousness. He gave me an opportunity to repent and draw closer to Him. Under God's guidance, my son has developed a habit of attending church. When he doesn’t have school, he is willing to attend church whenever there are services. Seeing him willingly participate in divine work fills me with joy and gratitude to God for using him. The road ahead is still long, and I pray that God will continue to lead him on His path, that he will follow the Lord's direction, learning to be like Jesus, and practicing reverence for God and love for others.

In conclusion, I share a passage from the Holy Spirit Monthly for mutual encouragement: "Do not underestimate your weaknesses, do not delay in seeking help from the Lord, and do not let weaknesses fester until you are unable to get up again."

May all glory and praise be given to our heavenly Father. Hallelujah! Amen!